A pencil is held in a pinch between thumb and pointer, resting on the middle finger — and the grip is only worth anything while a letter is being made with it.
The pencil rests on your middle finger, and your thumb and first finger pinch it just above the sharpened part. Hold it too tightly and your hand will ache before the page is finished. l, i and t are the first letters because each one is a single straight line down — and every letter you learn after this starts at the top too.
Pinch it, rest it, point it back — then write with it.