Writing Book 5 · Lesson 16

Combine four facts into one sentence

Several related facts can be combined into one sentence without saying anything twice.

What it is

Four sentences about one event make a reader do the assembling. Your job is to do it for them. Keep the action, turn the manner and the timing into phrases, and join the second action with and — one sentence carrying everything the four carried.

Watch it built

1
Four sentences, one event.
The river rose. It rose quickly. It rose after the storm. It flooded the field.
2
Keep the first action, absorb quickly and after the storm.
After the storm the river rose quickly.
3
Join the second action with and, dropping the repeated subject.
After the storm the river rose quickly and flooded the field.

One more

The wind blew. It blew hard. It blew all night. It broke the fence.
↓
All night the wind blew hard and broke the fence.
Remember
Keep the actions. Turn everything else into phrases.
Ask yourself: “Have I said each fact once, and only once?”

Remember

Four facts, one sentence, nothing repeated.

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